Dear Service Person / Store Clerk / Inconsiderate Person on the Subway / Anonymous Car Driver Who Pissed Me Off Today / “Friend” on Facebook,
For whatever reason (fear / politeness / respect for social norms / conformist tendencies) I was unable or unwilling to confront you directly about my feelings of victimhood thanks to your insensitive ignorant / appalling / boring behavior.
Simply put, you shocked me / hurt my feelings / mildly annoyed me, and then our encounter ended, and I did nothing in response, or what I did do was ineffective at resolving my feelings, and now I am left dealing with these profound psychic wounds on my own.
Because I have no pillow to beat mercilessly as a means of releasing some of the rage and anger this incident has triggered in the deepest parts of my soul, I have decided to share your ungracious and tactless behavior with ALL my Facebook friends. Maybe some of them know you, or frequent your eating establishment / place of business / car wash / fb timeline.
Well, now they will all know what a gigantic prick / bitch you are.
I hope you are sorry now.
If you are my true and sincere IRL friends, I hope you will ‘like’ this status because that will make me feel much better.
Sometimes I find it comforting to know
My problems will follow me wherever I go.
Bad information is sometimes good information….i.e. there is an aesthetic value to bad information that can exceed the practical value of good information.
ASSA Jeans. I’m thinking this could be really big. As in, “One small butt for man, one giant ASSA for mankind” big.
So far I’ve written two:
I just found out that
I have to waste Friday night
at a dumb party
No one told me that
I’d have to be a part of
this stupid event
Calligraphy often strikes me as one of the most musical of visual arts – the linear rhythms making solid structures for the swooping thinning and thickening lines that form such lovely and compelling visual melodies. Mr. Neuenschwander’s work seems particularly exuberant in this regard.
Ask me a question I almost never know but I almost always know where to go to know.
I understood the moment I understood I wouldn’t understand.
I was happy to have this thought. Because it was true, because it accurately described a moment that I had. An experience. It also had kind of a ring to it. A little bit of poetry.
Whenever I come up with a phrase like this – I call them fragments – I give them a quick Google to see who else has said the same thing. For someone, somewhere has ALWAYS said the same thing.
But this time, nothing.
So, that’s it suckers, you were too late. I said it first. Give me the credit, put it on my gravestone, quote it in my bio. Google that shit.
Oh Shit, I just did it again, said something that Google says was never said before. I am on a roll. look out plagiarists and copiers, I am the true OG (ori-ginator)
It’s hard to make the right call when the differences are so subtle – trying to figure out just how close a mosque can get to ground zero, or at just what point a largish nose starts to be a Semitic one. Thankfully there will always be experts to help us make these tough calls.